About

What makes you feel alive?

What lessons have you learned and are you learning through your mistakes?

How are you improving?

We are all here, trying to do our best. Let’s fight every day to make our best even better.

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20 thoughts on “About

  1. Hey Kelly!
    I got your blog on my Facebook page via the Tiny Buddha. I have been through, and am still going through what you are, and I went to couselling for part of this. I am married to this person for about 3 years now also.
    I learned that the reason why we have these problems in relationships is that usually it is caused by having “Toxic Parents”.
    Maybe you are not sure you had them, or you know that you had them, but reading that book will explain why you are not finding the love you want in your life.
    My two couselors said also that if you can still make love with this person and love them, it can be worked out.
    However, these verbal abuser types we end up with are very controlling and they plan to make you into the perfect woman that they want, and if you do not act like that at certain times, they bully you into submission till you act like it.
    Reading the Verbal Abuser type book series by Patricai Evans, http://www.verbalabuse.com
    will also help you understand the minds of these type of people and there is a book about whether you should leave or stay.
    This blog helps you express yourself, but it also keeps you where you are at, and instead, you need to be in control of your relationship carefully, and if you can enlighten the person you are with to be more of what you want, they might respond. Be careful though, the ideas in the book can backfire with an intellectual abuser like my husband. It is best to use the books for guidelines and use your own intuition.
    Mine relationship is finally turning around, and it is working little by little, and making sure you are in control of the situation when they act awful, and try to control you. Having control helps you be more positive, and also you will appear that way and the person you are with will either like it or move on, and you will have your self esteem to carry you on.
    In a society that pretty much is into disposable things and relationships, it is so easy to just not make an effort and give up and leave.
    I am married to this difficult person, and we were friends way before that happened, and I put the time in even of 10 years before doing that, and let me tell you, people act different when you start living with them, and they also act different after they marry you also.
    I am also an older woman and been married 4 times now, with 2 kids, one is grown up, one is in high school and graduating. She has seen the dark side of my husband, others do not. That is part of a controlling abuser, they look good to others, only you and the kids usually see the worse of them. I also have 3 stepsons that had a dysfunctional toxic mother, and their Dad hung in there for 30 years for her, and he got abused by her also, and the kids were part of that last 17 years or so and two are messed up and dropped out of college and are living with us now.
    So even it could happen if you know someone for a long time, seems like a sure bet, things are always part of chaos, it just takes someone to have toxic parents and when it comes to children or your spouse or girlfriend or boyfriend acts like them, it causes a PTSD trigger. Then you are them, like sometimes I am the ex wife, his father, or his mother when they abused him.
    So before you get involved again, or give up, look into that for yourself and him.
    Even the most benign parents can be toxic, if they are involved more than normal parents or even siblings. Otherwisee other person in your life really damaged you and you need to not jump into another relationship till you are OK again. They call those people transition people, and you are using them to get over someone else, or your new person did, and now they are OK, and leave you with nothing. Good Luck!

    Good Luck!
    Pam from Washington State, USA

    • Wow Pam, thank you so much for taking the time to share this information with me! I will definately look into it. Best of luck in your relationship and in the future!
      Kelly

    • Wow I’m sooo happy I came across your page through Tiny Buddha! You are a remarkable person, your words and thoughts make mine so clear. I have had a very hard year after my split due to the circumstances and your blog has made me feel so much lighter after feeling so very heavy. I have never read anyone’s blogs but I am blown away. I will continue to follow you and share your page with friends and family. Lots of love Nicole 27. Australia.

  2. I have stumbled on your blog and I am so interested in your words and thoughts. I seem to agree with what you are feeling, experiencing, and saying and I find that refreshing. Cleansing in a way for me to hear another say what I too often think and feel.
    I hope to read more, feel more, think more.
    Dave

    • Hello Dave,

      Thank you so much for your message and for showing an interest in my blog! I feel the same way as you, or similarly when I come across a blog that I can identify with – cleansing and validating that I am not unique in the way I think, feel, or view circumstances. I really appreciate your message, thank you for sharing your thoughts with me.

      Kelly

  3. I recently read your article about Knowing When To Move On. Reading your words caught me at a time in my life when I was looking for exactly that. I literally stumbled upon it while going through a hard time and what you wrote really touched me. I appreciate that you took the time to write down your thoughts and wanted to let you know they had an impact on someone. I would have loved to email you directly, but this was the best mode I could find. I hope you all the best in the future.

    jake.krez@gmail.com

    • Hi Jake,

      Thank you so much for your message and for taking the time to send it. I hope that my words had a positive impact – you never know when you are writing from a point of catharsis how your words will be percieved. It is soooooo hard to let go; it is something I really, really struggle with and this was a tough situation for me which is still dragging out. But I press on with the belief that I am acting in my best interests. Sometimes, that is the best thing we can do for all involved. I hope your circumstances change for the better, in a way that is in your best interests and brings you happines. Be well, all the best.

      Kelly

  4. I am reading your blog entries in complete awe – all of it is so much the same as what I have gone thru for the past year and your words are so well put together and concise, conveying lots of meaning without too many words. Bravo! I feel like you are in my head, writing out my own thoughts. I hope you continue. :-)

  5. Hey!
    Well, when I read your “about”, it touched a chord in my heart. It’s really precise and straight forward. Good work. Keep on!!!
    Best of luck for the day/week/year and beyond… :)

  6. Hi Kelly, your words are so beautifully written. I hope you earn a living from such incredible writing skills. Really resonate with my circumstances. Very moving. Well done. x

  7. Kelly, I too found your blog by chance. Wonderful words. You seem so warm and sensitive. Love will find you for sure (if not already). Tony

  8. I do not find anything “average” at all in your writing, Kelly. It is beautiful, warm, golden. I hope one day to find a companion with a heart and mind like yours. –Bruce

  9. Hi Kelly, i also stumbled onto your block by accident and thought this is so inspiring for me.. It feels good to read what others feel and think, especially when you feel the same and cannot express into words what you actually feel… Thanks for sharing all of these with us, it helps to know that there are people that feel the same as we do.. :) ;)

  10. Your thing on unrequited love, five stars, wonderful. Thanks. It assumes there will be another love though and at 60, I’m pretty sure I’m it. And sadly enough, I also know I deserve to be where I am, racked with emotional pain. If I told you my story (and it’s seriously one for the books!), you would most likely agree that I deserve to be where I am but suffice it to say, one of the hardest parts of being in love in a situation you shouldn’t be in in the first place is that when it isn’t following the path you would like, you can’t say a word to anyone. (ergo I am here where no one knows me…) All that pain just has to stay inside. And when one is in the later years, knowing that what they have will NEVER come again, saying goodbye to that unrequited love is saying goodbye to any conceivable chance of having that in your life ever again. Funny it still hurts just as much this time as it did when I was in my early twenties. Funnier still that even I don’t feel sorry for myself. I suppose the silver lining about my age is knowing that I won’t have to live with this pain as long as I did the pain of the divorce from my first wife, the love of my life. That’s really kind of sad though actually. Oh well. Cie la vie. right?

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